Thursday, March 18, 2010

Why women don't just go with the grow

I am a woman; I have body hair. And, apparently, I am not alone.

In the run-up to the Oscars, Academy Award-winning actress Mo'Nique let people in on the fact that she does not shave her legs.

The comedian and late-night talk show host told Barbara Walters, "I tried shaving one time. It was so uncomfortable and so painful, and when it grew back, it grew back even thicker, and more of it. I said never again would I do that to myself."

Most of the coverage of Mo'Nique's leg-hair decision did not discuss the significance of her statement in a broader context.

What is the broader context? Well, despite the fact that all human beings get body hair when they become adults, from about puberty, girls are faced with cues that body hair is something to be ashamed of, embarrassed by and ultimately removed.

If girls decide to remove their body hair, then that's their choice. But they might not realize that in order to remain hair-free they will have to remove that hair every day for the rest of their lives (give or take a day or two) or have it permanently removed at some point.

By the time those girls are women, hair removal is just an accepted part of their grooming routine.

Now is probably a good time for me to mention that hair removal is a $10 billion industry, and I hear that's a conservative estimate.

I know you're saying, "Men remove hair as well. Men and women are both expected to have regular haircuts, trim their nose hairs and remove hair in their ears and on their backs if they want to be socially acceptable. And many men are expected to remove beards and mustaches for work."

And you're right.

But check out these ads (here, here, here and here) targeting women for temporary hair removal methods.

You see my point? In order to be feminine -- beautiful even -- a woman can't just go with the grow.

So that means a woman who doesn't want to be noticed for her body hair has to consider the following:

1) Her eyebrows must have a certain shape or arch.
2) She can never have hair above or below her lips or on her chin.
3) Sideburns can't be too thick.
4) Same goes for the hair on the cheeks of her face.
5) No underarm hair.
6) No chest hair.
7) No belly hair.
8) No visible hair "down there" (not my phrase of choice) when sporting a bathing suit.
9) No thick or course hair on the forearms.
10) No leg hair.
11) No hair near her knuckles and no hair anywhere on her feet, if she's really diligent.

And the options for what to do with body hair (because a feminine, beautiful woman must be silky smooth at all times) include:

1) Slowing growth (you need a prescription).
2) Shaving (sigh).
3) Plucking (mini-ouch).
4) Dissolving (I-think-I-left-it-on-too-long-ouch).
5) Waxing (honey-coated-ouch).
6) Zapping with a laser (super-ouch).
7) Destroying the root (I-need-to-slap-somebody-ouch).

NOTE: That list was not exhaustive because it didn't include arguably ouch-worthy methods like threading and sugaring. Don't ask.

Doesn't this all sound ridiculous now that we've actually thought about it?

It's about time we blame somebody for this. Who do you want to blame? The fashion industry? The media? Advertisers? Razor manufacturers? Men? Women?

Who knows?

But let me ask you something, ladies. Would you be willing to take a page from Mo'Nique's book and cut yourselves some slack?

Because what Mo'Nique might be saying is that hair removal is ultimately a choice. A choice we make every day. And if we give up the goal of trying to be "feminine" or society's latest version of "beautiful," then we can choose to be ourselves, with hair on our legs and all.

What do you think? Would you be willing to let it all grow out?

Photo courtesy: Naotakem, Flickr Creative Commons.

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Wednesday, January 13, 2010

The Joy of Sex!

Ok, now that I have your attention, I am seeking any advice that readers are willing to offer. A friend of mine (no, really, it's not me, it really is a friend) is anxious about having the sex talk with her fraternal twins who will turn 13 in February. The conversation is now unavoidable since the twins are going to be attending a co-ed camping trip.

So, mom and dad are preparing to talk to their kids, but where should the conversation start? How far should the conversation go? Humor, is it advised (I kinda think so)? Should there be props? Should the conversation be done separately?

So, I'd like to help ease her stress. It's self-seeking actually =). I told her, since she would have mastered this conversation, I'm sending my children to her when it comes time for me to have the sex talk!

Welcoming all advice.

Be blessed! Love, peace and Sunshine! =)