Mother's Day Follow-up

I was a good sport. I did the overpriced brunch thing, wrapped up some chocolates in a box, bought a cheesy card that cost the same as a Subway sandwich (6 inch). It was fine. But my mom managed to validate my Hallmark holiday cynicism.

My mom is a sucker for saccharine, gaudy cards - the more glittery flowers, the more layers of blank pages, the better. But I don't think she ever really reads the most important part - my personal message. Sunday proved my suspicion. I put my mom to the test.

In her card, I wrote a message in swirly, small handwriting that looked like it could have been words, but the whole thing was actually gibberish. She opened the card, closed it and said, "That's so sweet, honey. Thanks." I said, "Did you read my message?" She said, "I did. Quickly." She opened it again to redeem herself. I watched her squint, sweat, bring it closer to her face. 5 minutes later, she was still at it, grimacing.

I finally put her out of her misery and told her my message did not say anything. It didn't go over that well. She chuckled and rolled her eyes and continued to eat her $40 omelette.