I can't make this stuff up!

Some woman claims she developed a surgery-free facelift. It's been featured in Elle, Marie Claire and Vogue, so it must be for women.

It's called Facercise (like I said, I can't make this stuff up), a twice-daily face exercise program that isolates face muscles and claims to firm them up.

There's a funny 1995 article from The New York Times about the program (I say it's funny because the writer accepts the notion that her aging face is a problem - more on that below).

Anyway, according to the Facercise web site, "results" can be seen "in just a few days." I should let you know that I was laughing while I typed that.

These are the results Facercisers (I think I just coined the term) can expect:

-Eyebrows are raised or lifted

-Eye sockets are enlarged, resulting in the eyes appearing more open and
vibrant

-Diminished puffiness under the eyes

-A shorter or narrower nose. The nose grows with age, creating an aged appearance

-Fuller lips and turned up, younger looking mouth corners

-Toned and defined chin, neck and jaw line

-Complexions change color and become more vibrant and youthful

So after reading the list I decided I wasn't going to exhaust myself by going over every point because the list is ridiculous enough on its own. But here's what jumped out at me.

Who would want to enlarge their eye sockets? Right. Let's move on.

"The nose grows with age, creating an aged appearance." OMG! There are so many things wrong with that statement that I think a college course can be built around it.

Bottom line is that this marketing campaign does not take into account two basic ideas (that seem like common sense to me):

1) People (even women people) age. Women and men people, if they remain on the planet long enough, will look older than 18 at some point;

2) Young does not equal attractive. Old does not equal unattractive. But what if they did?

Is Facercise the answer? Uh ... enlarged eye sockets? I think not. The answer lies within the person. Each person. You know what I mean?